InuYasha's Answering Machine
by Jann
Summary: Rated for some language. I don't really know where he's keeping this alleged answering machine . . .


:: Author's Note ::  
  
All I have to say for myself is . . . if this has already been done, I'm really sorry.  
  
Disclaimer: I lack ownage of Inu-Yasha and all related characters.  
  
Enjoy?  
*  
*  
*  
Inu-Yasha's Answering Machine  
*  
*  
*Click* It's Inu-Yasha. I'm gone for Spring Break. If you have Shikon shards, I'll hunt you down and kill you for them. If you know where any Shikon shards are, then leave a message telling exactly where they are and I won't HAVE to hunt you down and kill you. If you don't have/know the location of any Shikon shards, then stop calling this damned number. *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Inu-Yasha? Um, it's Kagome. Look, I swear it was an accident, but about the Shikon shards . . . I kinda've . . . lost them . . . Okay, just call me when you get this message, okay? *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Little brother? Thee, I don't know where any of that Thikon Jewel thing ith, but I'm having a tupperware party tonight and you're not invited or anything, but I wanted to know if you thill have the lid to my thky blue butter tub. I need it. Call me back thoon -- I NEED IT TONIGHT. *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Inu-Yasha? Are you there? It's Kikyou! Pick up! You're with HER, aren't you! AREN'T YOU! I'M THE ORIGINAL! I got our paperwork, Inu-Yasha! We can leave anytime! The offer's still open! COME TO HELL WITH ME! *Beep*  
  
*Beep* I couldn't find Kagome's number. This is Midoriko. You don't really know me, but I just thought I'd let you know that I'm really pissed off over the fact that you two broke that damned jewel. Do you have any clue how much that cost? And it wasn't cheap-ass QVC jewelry either! You better get on this damn phone right now and wire me some money to replace it. I need it for my date tonight! *Beep*  
  
*Beep* This isn't pizza palace? Are you sure? Is anyone there? . . . *Beep*  
  
*Beep* It's Totosai. Inu-Yasha, I lost my donkey, my hut and everything I own in a bad poker hand . . . I was just wondering . . . if there's any way you could lend me a few dollars . . . *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Yo, shithead. I couldn't find Kagome's number -- is she unlisted, or something? -- but I wanted to know if she wanted to come with me to Tampa Bay over spring break. You're not invited. Have her call me back. *Beep*  
  
*Beep* I'm Theriouth, Inu-Yatha! I need my thky blue butter-tub top! Don't make me come over there! Maybe I'll jutht take Tetthiga while I'm at it! Yeah! That'th what I'll do! GET ME MY TUB TOP! ::sobs:: *Beep*  
  
*Beep* . . . ::heavy breathing:: . . . *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Inu-Yasha, I have a bit of a . . . problem . . . see, I met this simply lovely young lady, but as it happens, her father is a bit . . . shall we say . . . "skeptical" . . . about me and . . . AHH! Inu-Yasha! HELP -- ! *Beep*  
  
*Beep* -- DAMN MONK! NOBLE INTENTIONS MY ASS! I'LL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LECHEROUS LI-- *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Shippo here! I . . . don't know why I'm calling . . . nevermind . . . *Beep*  
  
*Beep* INU-YASHA! It's Yura! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?! *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Er . . . Kagome again . . . I, uh, tried to go after the guy who made off with the Shikon Jewel shards and now I'm kinda've . . . a hostage? Will you come pick me up? I swear these guys don't think you're my lover . . . come on, Inu-Yasha, pick up . . . please? *Beep*  
  
*Beep* It's Sango. I'm not getting your mail for you while you're out anymore, Inu-Yasha. I'm getting sick of the perfumed letters. Gods, what kind've show are you running, anyways?! *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Totosai . . . I just thought of a, uh, flaw in the Tetsusaiga. I can fix it for you for a price. It's gonna be at least -- ::whisper:: How did I owe you? 60 thousand? 60 MILLION?! ::/whisper:: -- at least 70 million yen. Please get with me ASAP, eh? *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Well, I don't have any Shikon shards, but I have this really cool glass key chain that kinda looks like one . . . can I join your team? Please? *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Inu-Yatha! FYI, I JUTHT got a BRAND NEW left arm and I'm gonna beat on your ath tho bad! You'll pay for loothing my thky blue butter tub top! I'll be there in ten! YOU BE READY! *Beep*  
  
*Beep* Hi, uh, my name's, uh, Joe. *Beep* 


End file.
